On August 18, 1978, The Who released the song “Who are you” on the album by the same name. The song was one of the Who’s biggest hits in North America, ultimately peaking at number 14 on the U S Billboard Hot 100 Chart and number 7 on the Canadian RPM Top Singles Chart.
Had it been released today it would probably have reached Number 1 and become the theme song for the LGBTQ+ movement, which leads me to the topic of this blog – Choosing and Using Personal Gender Pronouns (PGPs).
But before I get started, let me review what a pronoun is.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “a pronoun is a word that is used instead of a noun or noun phrase. Pronouns refer to either a noun that has already been mentioned or to a noun that does not need to be named specifically.”
Examples of commonly used pronouns are:
Personal Pronouns (Singular)
- I, Me, My, Mine, Myself
- You, Your, Yours, Yourself
- He, Him, His, His, Himself
- She, Her, Her, Hers, Herself
- It, It, Its, Itself
Personal Pronouns (Plural)
- We, Us, Our, Ours, Ourselves
- You, Your, Your, Yours, Yourself
- They, Them, Their, Theirs, Themselves
Other Pronouns
- All, Another, Any, Anybody, Anyone, Anything, Both, Each, Either, Everybody, Everyone, Everything, Few, Many, Neither, No One, Nobody, None, Nothing, One, Other, Others, Some, Somebody, Someone, Something, That, These, This, Those, What, Which, Who, Whom, Whose
Personal pronouns are pronouns that are associated primarily with a particular grammatical person – first person (I,we), second person (you), or third person (he, she, it, they). Personal pronouns may also take different forms depending on number (usually singular or plural), grammatical or natural gender, case, and formality.
Unfortunately, not everyone identifies with these “common” pronouns. According to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Plus (LGBTQ+) Resource Center:
It is important to respect a person’s Personal Gender Pronouns. When someone is referred to with the wrong personal gender pronoun, it can make them feel disrespected, invalidated, dismissed, alienated, or dysphoric.
You can’t always know what someone’s preferred pronouns are by looking at them. Asking and correctly using someone’s pronouns is one of the most basic ways to show your respect for their gender identity.
Some new Personal Gender Pronouns have been created as an alternative to or rejection of the gender binary. Examples of these new Gender Neutral / Gender Inclusive Personal Gender Pronouns are:
- Ae, Aer, Aer, Aers, Aerself
- E/Ey, Em, Eir, Eirs, Emself
- Fae, Faer, Faer, Faers, Faerself
- Per, Per, Pers, Pers, Perself
- Sie, Sie, Hir, Hirs, Hirself
- Tey, Ter, Tem, Ters, Terself
- Ve, Ver, Vis, Vers, Verself
- Xe, Xem, Xyr, Xyrs, Xemself
- Zie, Zim, Zir, Zis, Zieself
Everyone has the right to use the gender pronouns that match their personal identity. If the common pronouns or these new PGPs don’t fit you personally, then you should choose your own PGP that accurately reflects who you are.
For example, if you are a strong, individual-thinking male conservative you might want to use the PGPs “Hex, Himx, Hisx, Hisx, and Himxself”. Likewise, if you are a strong, individual-thinking female conservative, you might choose to use the PGPs “Shex, Herx, Herx, Herxs and Herxself”.
On the other hand, for weak, group-think male liberals, PGPS such as “Wus (We-us), Wus, Wus, Wussy and Wusself” may be more appropriate, and if you are a weak, group-think female liberal, you might prefer PGPs like “Whour (Who-our), Whour, Whour, Whours and Whourself”.
If you don’t know who or what you are then you might consider using non-specific PGPs such as “Wtf, Wtf, Wtf, Wtfs, and Wtfself”.
And if none of the above fit your particular need, then by all means feel free to make up your own Personal Gender Pronouns – after all, everyone deserves to feel respected and validated.
So, let me ask you a few questions. (And forgive me if I use the wrong personal pronoun, as these questions are addressed to multiple individuals).
- Who are you?
- How do you identify?
- Have you chosen your Personal Gender Pronouns?
- Are your PGPs traditional, the new gender neutral / gender inclusive pronouns, or “other”?
- Have you told your friends and family members what your preferred pronouns are?
- When you meet someone new, do you ask them what their preferred pronouns are?
In today’s new social environment, it is very important that you become personal pronoun proficient. Using the wrong Personal Gender Pronoun is a sure-fire way to become a social outcast.
Whether you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community or not, make it your personal goal to choose and use Personal Gender Pronouns that match your identity and share your PGPs with others, just as they should share their PGPs with you, so that we can all respect each other’s gender identities and live happily ever after in our diverse and inclusive world.
p.s. I prefer to use the common pronouns for my PGPs, but find that one of the PGPs that falls into the “other” category – Wtf – can be quite useful at times.
